I was so shocked when I got to the end of your article and saw the responses of people who had a flip, "so what?" reaction to Sara's story. Anyone who hears all of this and can't empathize truly scares me. And, clearly, that person has never been on the receiving end of this style of manipulation. I think one of the scariest things I experienced back when I dated men was how little people wanted to hear my concerns about my SO, and I'm including my friends. I don't know why we're so quick to explain away male behavior, but we are! I've definitely done it and seen members of my family do it, even with my brother, a violent alcoholic. I really admire Sara, (and you), for calling these actions out and labeling them for what they are - abuse.