Is the Refusal to Post in a Chat Group the Ultimate Middle Finger?
I live in Guadalajara, Mexico, a place where your social standing depends on three key factors; how much you drink, your sense of style, and your chat group savvy. Can you thrive in short, visual expressions? Do you know exactly the right moment to post the perfect meme? Mexico will love you.
Meanwhile, I have turned to sobriety, abandoned all hope of ever looking as nice as my local cohorts and I hate chat groups. Hate them. Yet, I can’t seem to leave them behind. They follow me everywhere I go. Starting a new class? There’s a chat group! Want to organize a brunch? Girls, we need a group! Did you get a nice picture of someone’s nephew? You’re now required to post that adorable shot on a minimum of fifty groups packed with strangers.
Mexico Online and on Point
The app of choice here is WhatsApp, a chat application owned by Facebook. It has all the bells and whistles like free video calls, free voice calls, voice messages. It’s nice, don’t get me wrong, I use it every day. But, there’s no book of etiquette for the many groups I get thrown into.
Most of WhatsApp is funny stuff. One day, I got this one:
Okay, this one has layers. First, you have to translate it. It says, “I think we should use this kind of protection so it doesn’t hurt when the jammers hit the blockers…”
Second, you have to speak roller derby. Lucky for me, I play so I got this one. In derby, a jammer is the one who scores points by passing players and the jammers have to stop her. This leads to a lot of butt and hip bruises, the places where it’s legal to bang into someone.
So, this person is suggesting, as a joke, that they all go out and buy padded, ridiculous underwear to put under their uniforms. You know it’s a joke because of the emoji that immediately follows. This all seems innocent, but it sends my pulse racing. Why? Because this isn’t an innocent joke. It’s a test to see who’s this person’s real friend and who will be the Group Chat Master.
Now what?
To pass the test, I need a perfect reaction. What will it be? My GF, a chat group master, suggests a simple repost of the “LAUGHING SO HARD I’M CRYING!!” emoji that the original poster used. Others go for a funny sticker or the standard, “JAJAJAJAJA” which in Spanish is pronounced “HAHAHAHAHA.”
But what if I see the funny picture hours after it’s posted? Then what? The group has already moved on and I’m desperately scrolling to see the newest post while attempting not to be haunted by the old one. I have yet to react, yet I can’t seem to think of anything. The worst part is, I have a cool, funny story about a girl I learned to skate with who insisted on wearing butt pads because her tush was so skinny, but that story would take up miles of space on the group. I couldn’t possibly be so brazen!
At this point, I’m in a full sweat and avoiding the group altogether. This doesn’t solve the problem, rather it presents a new one. I’m now the member who never posts. The worst, right? That person whose name is on the list of members yet never participates. A ghost on a cell phone.
WhatsApp and it’s Latin Fans
According to a study conducted by The Applied Political Communication and quoted by The Mazatlan Post, in 2019 the average Mexican spends roughly six hours on WhatsApp. Six hours! That’s a quarter of a day! And from my personal experience, I’d call that a modest estimate.
Before Guadalajara, I lived in Shanghai, China where WeChat, the super app, is more overlord than a download. There, I once saw a pole dancer perform with one hand on the pole, the other on her phone, furiously updating her status. She’s got nothing on Mexicans.
In China, people wrote in Mandarin, giving me an instant excuse. “Well, I can’t read it, so I guess I don’t have to say anything.” Easy! In my new home, I’ve made a big effort to master Spanish, so I can’t shrug off messages with a casual “No entiendo.” Besides, most of the women I chat with learned English by reading, so even if I respond in my native language, they’ll get it.
There’s no way out. I have to respond.
Now, I need to pick a funny response to an amusing idea. I have to hand it to the original post, it’s a good one. Butt pads are a crowd-pleaser. My post needs the same hilarity without stealing the scene. Here are my choices:
There’s always a simple “JAJAJA.” Short and sweet, but nothing original.
I can choose from the stickers that get shared on the group, including —
OR
Do you see that timestamp? Someone made that sticker in the MIDDLE OF A WORKDAY. These ladies are professionals.
This One was a FAIL
I’m sad to report I did not pass this initial test. I held out for another post to which I could easily react. I’m still waiting.
Can I leave the group? No! There’s nothing worse than a sudden “LINDSAY has left the group” message for everyone to see. It’s like a badge of dishonor. I couldn’t possibly.
So, I’m sticking it out. Life in Mexico is nothing like I expected and I never counted on the cell phone culture being so prominent when I moved here. Yet, this is my chosen home and I want to make the most of my time here. Maybe that’s what I should say to my group…
Want to know more about life as an American living in Mexico? Feel free to react with a question or find me on Facebook, (real name), or Instagram, (@lredifer). Please follow and clap!
